Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Changes

Well, I had plans for some very inspiring posts today - ideas that have been "marinating" in my mind for days. But then a rather large spanner was thrown in the works - I have just been made redundant from my job! I finish just before Christmas. Great timing eh?

The company I work (worked!) for has undergone huge changes in the last year, and my job has shrunk over the past 6 months because I have finished all the big projects I was working on and am now just in maintenance mode. So, it wasn't completely unexpected, but still a shock as I would be going on maternity leave late February and they wouldn't have to be paying for me then anyway. So, it really just means that I finish work about 6 weeks earlier than I'd planned. The negative side is that I don't have the security of knowing I could have my job back if I wanted it. (Maternity leave laws in Australia guarantee that once you have worked for a company for 1 year before having a baby you can return to your job exactly as it was before having the baby if you want and we can take up to 12 months unpaid leave).

Today has been one of very mixed emotions though - one minute I'm on the verge of tears, the next I'm starting to plan all the things I can do now - start my creative career, do freelance computer work, throw out the alarm clock (yippee! well, at least until the baby starts waking me at all hours), set up the nursery, spend time with family and friends before the baby arrives....

Sometimes these things happen so that we are pushed to do what we really want. For a couple of years now I've wanted to make a change, but haven't felt ready to make the leap, and since finding out I was pregnant I have been thinking about what I would do when the baby arrived. I know I don't want to work away from home full time, so I'd started thinking about what I could do part time from home. Now I've been given the shove, I plan to grab it with both hands and try very hard to make the best out of the situation I find myself in.

Forced change is never easy, but I hope it will all turn out to be the best thing for me in the long run. Mind you, as it all sinks in I may not be so philosophical tomorrow!!

3 comments:

Swirly said...

What is with this time of year and people losing their jobs? I recently responded to another post about a similar situation and I told her this: Last year (around this time) I had a major business deal fall apart because my partner took another full time job in another state. I lost everything I had worked for over the previous year in one quick instant. I was so devastated, but told myself this meant there HAD to be something better for me around the corner. It was so difficult to hold on to that, but it really helped and of course turned out to be true!

It sounds like this isn't the same kind of disappointment, but change is always challenging. I wish you all the best.

maria said...

Michelle,

I know it sounds trite, and half the time I don't even believe this myself, but it's true: Things happen for a reason. Most of the time, we only figure out what that reason is way down the road, and in the meantime, we have to just go on faith that what's happening is actually for our good somehow.

You will go through up and down cycles -- one day you'll feel great and full of ideas and energy, and another you'll feel discouraged and maybe even desperate for something solid to hold onto. Don't let those days drag you down ... just ride them out as if you were on a surfboard riding a wave, and they'll pass.

I always recommend a little book called Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes, by William Bridges. It may help you get a better sense of what to expect, so that you can put those challenging days into perspective with the big picture.

Anyway, having said all that, I'm so excited for you! You're on the verge of big changes, and you have the opportunity to design the next chapter of your life now in a way that really fits who you are. Go for it!

Michelle said...

Swirly and Maria,

thank you both so much for your comments. Common sense advice that we need to be reminded of when things seem so "big".

Today I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me, but I feel positive too - in the scheme of life this is such a little bump in the road. I have my health, a supportive, fun husband and a baby on the way - I don't deserve to feel sorry for myself when I have so much to be thankful for!